Reinventing Rita’s Post Divorce TIP #3:

YOUR KIDS ARE NOT YOUR HOBBY

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I didn’t have a hobby for a long time. When I was young, I was raised in a very religious household so most of my free time was spent going to church. After my own parent’s divorced when I was 12, money was always tight so there was never money for piano lessons or volleyball camp, etc. At 15 I started working and all of my free time was devoted to that. So as I grew into adulthood, I didn’t really have any hobbies outside of cooking. I married a man whose first love was the snow and we ended up moving to Utah from Spain so that he could ski and then two years after my divorce, I dated a die hard rock climber on and off for years. I remember being frustrated because while they had something besides work, family, and friends to entertain them, break the monotony of life and enjoy, I really had nothing. Work and kids were my life. That is, up until I turned 33 years old. One night my rock climber’s best friend’s wife, the beautiful Colombian goddess Gloria, invited me to an Argentine tango dance. I was excited because I had seen a movie called THE TANGO LESSON years ago while on bed rest while pregnant with my son. I never forgot the movie because the dancing was the most magical thing I had ever seen. So one Saturday night, I got dressed and I went with Gloria to my first milonga.
I was doe-eyed and overwhelmed with excitement not just for the dancing but the music as well. I will never forget the night…it was October 21, 2006…the night I fell in love with Mr. Tango. Within two months I was on a plane to Buenos Aires, Argentina for ten days and for the two years that followed I visited again and again to master the craft. I found my hobby! That was 10 years ago and while I do not dance as much as I would like now, when I need an escape, I head right to the amazing community of tango dancers that I know and love.

So today’s tip: Find something you enjoy doing…just for you. It doesn’t need to cost a lot of money but it does need to be something you are passionate about. Here’s an article regarding why hobbies are so important. http://www.theprettyguineapig.com/16274/8-reasons-hobbies-important/ Single parents are not exempt! You know, it seems like just yesterday that my kids were little babies. My son is a sophomore in high school now and my daughter is in middle school. In the blink of an eye, they will be off to college and starting lives of their own. While it is soooo very important that we are always available for them, that they take first priority, it is also important that we forge some kind of life for ourselves so that when they do leave, and they will eventually set out on their own, we will not be lost as to what we will do with our lives moving forward.

Until my next post…with LOVE,
Rita
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